TROUBLE, A New Adult Romance Novel (The Rebel Series) Read online

  Mick reaches over and hits it with his own, but doesn’t look at his brother while he does it.

  “What about you?” I ask Colin, trying to keep my voice even. “Why do you demand so much of Mick but not of yourself? Don’t you think that’s hard for your family to deal with?”

  Colin’s mouth drops open and he stares at me. My heart spasms a little as a wave of guilt comes over me. I feel like I’ve been a traitor to him for some reason.

  “Boom, goes the honesty,” says Teagan. “Excellent question. Take him down to the mat.”

  “Ka-chow,” Quin says, her voice soft. “Do not piss off the pregnant lady, people.”

  “Answer the question, man,” says Mick, bringing up his head and settling back into his seat. “I had to.”

  A mutinous expression takes over Colin’s face. “Fine. Whatever. So I like to fight. Who cares? Ain’t nobody’s business but my own.”

  “No fair taking the easy way out,” says Quin. “You have to share your feeeeeelings.” She’s grinning way too hard. She’s totally enjoying getting under his skin.

  I kind of feel the same way. It’s strange but also exhilarating to see such a strong rebellious guy forced to reckon with his emotions, especially when he spends probably eighty percent of his day pretending like he doesn’t even have any.

  “Nah. That’s all I got to say.” He leans back, his body language showing a carelessness and complete lack of regard for what we think. Too bad his face keeps twitching and giving him away. This means a lot to him; maybe more than anything else he has going on. Interesting.

  “You asked me what I would change about my brothers,” Rebel says. He looks at Colin. “If I could change one thing about Colin, I would bring him peace. He just needs some peace in his life.”

  I feel like I can’t breathe. I both ache for him and for me. The irrational thought flits across my mind that a pregnant girl or a new baby is the last thing a guy needing peace would want in his life. It’s the most ridiculous thing on every level. Why do I keep inserting myself into his world like that? What is wrong with me? Don’t I have enough pain in my life as it is?

  “Man … I have peace.” Colin rests his head on the chair back behind him and looks at the ceiling. “I’m all about the zen.” His arms rise up slowly and come to prayer position in front of his face.

  “Shhh. Right,” says Mick. “You’re all about the fighting and hell raising. You’re pure trouble, or have you forgotten?”

  Colin doesn’t even lift his head to respond to his brother. His arms drop onto the sides of the chair. “Fuck off, Hellion. You’re no angel yourself and you know it.”

  “Insulting each other is not helping here,” I say, taking up the mantle of therapist to help ease myself past my own hurt feelings. “Why do you think he doesn’t have peace in his life?” I ask Rebel.

  Rebel looks at Mick first and they exchange some kind of silent message. Mick nods and then Rebel looks at Colin. When he begins to speak, the entire room goes dead silent. Even the birds outside seem to stop chirping as they listen for the words Rebel shares so sparingly.

  “Colin’s got a big heart. Too big sometimes. He loved our mom with everything he had. He loved our sister like she was a part of him. She got hurt real bad and he wasn’t there. He takes that on himself, even though he shouldn’t. When they died, he decided for some reason he had to do penance for the rest of his life over it. I wish that he’d let that go and move on with his life. Stop taking everything on his shoulders and let something else in for a change. Something … lighter.”

  Colin swallows over and over. And then he jerks himself upright and stands. “Man, this is bullshit. Bullshit!” he yells. “I’m outta here. Have fun with your therapy session, assholes.” And then he storms out of the room.

  No one says anything for a few seconds until Quin breaks the silence.

  “Holy furry bat balls, that went well.” She grins at me. “Good job, Alissa. You’re awesome at this, you know? You should change your major to psychology.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  MOVING DAY IS FINALLY HERE. Colin has made himself scarce over the past few days, and he’s definitely not talking to me. I thought before that my life was lonely and boring, but now it’s even more so. I hadn’t realized before how a simple conversation with him would brighten up my day so much. I am such a mess.

  I’ve packed all my things into a single trash bag and it’s not even half-full. When I left my parents’ house I hadn’t taken anything but my makeup and toothbrush. With the few maternity outfits I got at a thrift store, I can’t even fill one drawer. I guess that’s a good thing since I don’t even own a chest of drawers.

  The rental place is in a much better part of town than the Rebel Wheels shop. I breathe a sigh of relief as we pull into the driveway. The house is white, has two floors, and a pointed roof; it looks like it belongs in the northeast somewhere, not Los Angeles. I love it immediately. I can picture myself in my own room again, the one right there in the front of the house looking out over the lawn and the street. I’ll be able to see people coming way before they get to the door.

  “Alissa? Hello, Earth to Alissa.” Quin is staring at me through the back window of the car. She’s standing out on the driveway. “You gonna help us get this crap unloaded or what?”

  “Oh, yeah. Sorry.” I struggle to get out of the back seat. Seems like it’s always difficult to get up from a seated position or pretty much do anything these days. Everything on my body is swollen, and I break into a sweat just thinking about moving a single muscle. On top of all that, the baby has decided she’s going to be a gymnast when she grows up. She’s super good at the triple flips. She practices all day long and even during the night too.

  “Here, take your bag and this box of dishes and you’re done,” Quin says, handing me the two items I could easily carry with one arm.

  “I have to do more than that.” Out of the corner of my eye I see Rebel and Mick carrying in a sofa. Their muscles are bulging and I silently thank Mother Nature for making it hot out today. They’re both shirtless against the heat. I might be pregnant, but I’m not ready for the nunnery yet, apparently.

  “Nope, this is all you’re allowed to do. No one wants amniotic fluid on the new floors. Just go up to your room and decide where you want everything to go.”

  I snort. “That’ll take me all of three seconds. I only have one bag.”

  “That’s what you think,” she says, winking at me.

  Quin has been way calmer around me since our big therapy session. Everyone has been. I guess it was a good idea that we did it; except for the fact that Colin probably feels more alienated now than he ever did before. I have huge regrets over that. I shouldn’t have pushed so hard.

  I mount the stairs with heavy feet as I remember his angry words and lonely departure. He didn’t deserve to feel that way. He’s a good person, and all he’s ever done is try to help me. I should have been more loyal to him, maybe.

  When I reach the room I know to be mine from the description that Teagan gave me, I push open the door. I’m too stunned by what’s inside to move any farther.

  The room is painted a pale pink with white crown moulding. There’s a double bed, a big dresser, and a tiny white dresser with a matching crib in a small alcove in the corner.

  I rest my palm on the door jamb as the bag of my clothes falls out of my hand and hits the floor.

  “Like it?” Quin asks, coming up the stairs behind me. She stops near my back. “Pretty sweet, eh?”

  “Who … ? How …?”

  “We all chipped in. I didn’t have any dough to contribute so I just painted. I kick ass at staying in the lines, believe it or not.”

  I shake my head slowly, trying to take it all in. “I don’t believe it.” It’s surreal. Their generosity is making me lose my mind. I’ve been nothing but annoying to them, and yet all they do is forgive me and then give me more. Who are these people?

  “No, it’s true. I know, I’m not
generally a stay-in-the-lines kind of girl, but when it comes to painting, I have a knack for it. That’s my OCD rearing it’s ugly head, I guess.” She points under my arm to the dresser. “You could put a diaper-changing pad on that if you want. Or just use the bed. We used the bed for Jersey ’til he took a massive shit in it one day. Holy stinky radioactive green goo alert. After that we got a diaper changing pad. They have plastic covers so they’re way easier to clean.” She’s still chuckling as she moves down the hall.

  I finally step into the room, almost thinking the whole decor and furniture thing will fade away into nothingness as my hallucination disintegrates.

  But no, it’s still there even when I’m all the way inside. I reach out and touch the nearest wall. The pink. The baby furniture. It’s all real. My eyes fill with tears.

  I wander over and sit down on the edge of the bed, letting the sadness come. It wasn’t supposed to be near-strangers being kind to me. It was supposed to be the boy I loved. The boy I trusted. The golden boy who was going to be the center of my universe for the rest of my life.

  Teagan finds me in the room a couple minutes later and sits down next to me. “Do you hate pink? I’m not a fan of it either, but we figured with the baby…”

  I shake my head and wave her concerns away with a few flicks of my hand. “No, no, it’s not that. I love pink.”

  Quin appears in the entrance of the room. “She freakin’?”

  “Yeah, but I’m not sure what about.”

  I shake my head, afraid I won’t be able to speak properly. But I have to try because they deserve some sort of explanation. “It’s just … overwhelming. I thought … I thought …”

  “You thought what? That we’d blow you off?” Teagan supplies.

  “No.” I shake my head vigorously. “I know you guys wouldn’t do that.”

  “Then what? What’s so upsetting that you’d sit in this glorious pink room and cry? Hell, it’s like a fairy queen ate too much cotton candy and then vomited all over the place. What could be prettier, I’d like to know.” Quin comes in and sits on the other side of me, putting her arm around me.

  I can’t help it. I rest my head on her shoulder. “I just thought it would be someone else doing it for me, that’s all.”

  “Your boyfriend?” Teagan answers.

  I laugh. It’s not a pretty sound. Picturing Charlie being kind like this makes me feel like I just swallowed a mason jar of acid. “Yeah, right. God. No. Don’t even say that.”

  Quin pats me on the head awkwardly as my tears drip all over her shirt. “Sounds like a real piece of shit, that guy.”

  I nod, saying nothing else. It feels good to share a little bit of my secret like this. What’s the harm in saying he was a jerk? It’s not like they know who it is.

  “What’s his name?” Teagan asks. “Anyone we know?”

  Her words yank me out of my foggy haze. All this pink … it made me drop my guard. What was I thinking? “No. No one you know.” I stand up and smear the tears off my face with the palms of my hands. “Oh, man. I’m a total mess of hormones right now.” I plaster a fake grin on my face. “Are there any towels unpacked yet? I need to wash my face.”

  Quin and Teagan exchange a look. I’m expecting the third degree to start happening but instead Teagan just points. “Bathroom in the middle of the hall has everything you should need.”

  “Great. Thanks so much.” I rush over to kiss them both on the cheek before beating it out of there.

  Once inside the bathroom, I lock the door and lean against it. I’m breathing like I just ran a marathon, and I feel like I just escaped something really awful. It makes me wonder when I’ll ever feel free again instead of like a prisoner.

  I take my time getting cleaned up and coming back out into the main part of the house. I’m relieved to find that everyone is too busy moving furniture to pay me any mind.

  About an hour later, after I’ve had a quick nap and finally put the last piece of my clothing into a drawer, Mick shows up in my doorway holding out his phone. “Call for ya.”

  I walk over and take it from him gently. “For me?” Just the idea makes me nervous. Is it Colin?

  “Some girl named Charity, I think? Got my number from Colin.”

  I’m momentarily stunned. But then my brain kicks in. “Oh! Thanks!” I put the phone to my ear. “Charity? Hi, this is Alissa.”

  “Hey, girl. You sure are hard to find, you know that? Anyway, I’m on break at school so I only have a minute. I just wanted to see if you’re available to meet me for a soda or a water one of these days. I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said, and I think we could do something about this adoption thing. Together, I mean. Like you just helping me and stuff or whatever.”

  The idea of being able to help someone like I’ve been helped fills me with instant happiness. Mick looks at me funny as I respond. “Sure, I’d love to. Maybe I can ride with my friend when she goes into work. That’s just up the street from where I met you that one time.”

  “Excellent. Works for me. And I have my grandpa’s car, so if you want, I can come get you. If the whole riding with the friend thing doesn’t work out.”

  “Okay. I should be fine. We can discuss everything over a soda.”

  “Tomorrow okay for you?”

  I shrug. “I think so. If not, I’ll call you back. What time?”

  “Three. I have about an hour then.”

  “Great!” I’m probably way too excited about the prospect of an ice water with a friend, but so what. “See you tomorrow.”

  “You too. And don’t forget to keep your feet up. Helps with the puffy ankles.”

  “Thanks for the reminder. Bye.” I press the red button and hand the phone over to Mick. “Thanks.”

  “Who was that?”

  “Just a friend.” Someone I can help. Someone who knows what I’m going through. Suddenly, my life doesn’t feel quite as desperate.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  DINNER ENDS UP BEING PIZZA, wings and beer. I stick with pizza and water. My stomach isn’t much into hot sauce and I’m pretty sure turning my baby into an alcoholic in the third trimester is not a good idea. We’re sitting around the family room eating off paper plates when Colin walks in.

  “Where’ve you been?” Mick asks. “We could have used your help lifting the furniture.” His tone is missing the anger it usually has when talking to Colin.

  “Working. Finishing up that Nova as requested.” His words are for Rebel, but he’s staring at the pizza boxes.

  “Help yourself,” Teagan says, gesturing to the food. “Beer’s in the fridge.”

  “No thanks. I’ll just stick with water.”

  My heart leaps up into my throat and sticks there when he takes his two pieces of pizza and comes over to sit on the arm of my chair. He swipes my bottled water off the table in front of me and helps himself to a huge swig of it. I’m afraid I might faint at his familiarity. It’s way to comfortable and warm.

  “Ew, cooties,” Quin says. She walks into the kitchen and comes back with a fresh bottle of water for me. “Here, sweetie cheeks. You can have your own. Wouldn’t want you swapping spit with pure Trouble, now would we?” She smiles, but I swear there’s a devil inside there just having a ball over my discomfort. I’m actually kind of sad to have my own water.

  “Ha, ha. Very funny,” I say, wishing I could come up with something snappier. But I don’t want to let her know that she’s shot an arrow right into the center of my heart. I totally want to swap spit with Colin. It’s no use denying it anymore, but the very least I can do is act cool about it. To be a pitiful pregnant mess hanging onto his very shadow would be the worst kind of nightmare.

  “She likes my cooties, don’t ya, Liss?” He nudges me in the shoulder with his elbow, acting all casual about it.

  I look away. “No thanks.”

  Mick laughs. “You sticking around for the game?”

  “Maybe. Who’s playing?”

  “Spain and Brazil.”
r />   “Yeah. I’ll stay.” Colin looks over at Rebel.

  I pretend that the arrangement of olives on my pizza is very, very critical to its enjoyment while I listen for Colin’s next words. He seems … nervous or unsure of himself.

  “Yo, Rebel. I was thinking … are you using the attic?”

  Rebel stares at his brother for a few seconds before turning to look at Teagan. He says nothing, but she speaks up.

  “It’s full of dust and rat turds. Why?”

  “I was up there the other day and it actually has some great light coming in from those skylights and the round window under the gable. It would make a great painting studio. If you’re not using the space, I’d rent it from you.”

  “What about your apartment?” Quin asks. “Don’t you usually paint there?”

  “Yeah, but it’s getting too crowded. And covered in paint. Got some on my stereo the other day.”

  “Doesn’t bother me,” Rebel says, going back to focusing on his pizza.

  “Me neither,” says Teagan. “But you’d have to clean it up when we move out. I’m not losing my part of the security deposit because you destroyed the upstairs.”

  “Not a problem.” Colin looks to Rebel. “We cool?”

  Rebel nods.

  No one seems to realize what a bad idea this is but me. I squirm in my seat, wishing someone would ask me for my opinion. I mean, I know I’m not paying rent, but I live here too.

  “What’s the matter, Alissa? You have a problem with Colin painting here?” It’s Quin again. She’s like a darn termite in my brain, eating away at my thoughts and making it impossible for me to just live anonymously in this place.

  “Well, you know … paint fumes aren’t good for babies.”

  “You won’t smell a thing,” Colin says. “I’ll open a window.”

  “And attics aren’t good for your lungs. You know, with all the dust and rat … excrement.”

  “A little rat shit never hurt anyone,” he says.

  I can hear the smile in his voice, but I can’t look at his face. I focus on the fireplace mantle over his shoulder. “I’m pretty sure it can. It can cause diseases.”