Shine Not Burn Page 14

  I looked across the table at Mack and then quickly shifted my gaze to the mashed potatoes when he caught my eye. Those damn blue eyes. Why do they affect me like this? I felt like I had a fever, my skin suddenly going sensitive and the heat rising up inside me. My master plan to use the girl in the photo to force his hand seemed flimsy. He definitely wasn’t coming across as a man who could be easily intimidated. Why did I remember him being so much more easygoing? Was it because I was so drunk or because he’d changed?

  I turned my attention back to Boog. Looking down at him from behind my seat was like taking a visual cold shower, helping me get a grip on my emotions. “Yes, but you failed to mention when you offered that lift that the road was straight out of Baghdad and not suited to travel by a Smart Car.”

  He snorted. “Foreigners.” Taking a bite of his rib, he continued to speak, not letting the fact that he had a mouthful of meat bother him in the least. “I got news for you … a Smart Car isn’t suited to travel anywhere around here, not even the highway. With all the four-wheel drive trucks around, you could get yourself hurt if you got in an accident. Better leave the Smart Cars on the golf course where they belong.”

  Mack shifted in his seat and I looked up at him again. I felt the heat rise in my cheeks as the muscle in his jaw pulsed out a few times. I was affecting him as much as he was affecting me, only I think my presence was making him angry whereas his was making me think stupid, stupid things that girls who are engaged to other men should not be thinking. I pulled the chair out and stood in front of it at the table.

  Boog continued. “Next time a gentleman offers you a ride, you should take him up on it and not be so big city independent about it.”

  “The first time one does, I will.” I smirked, taking my chair at the edges and pulling myself up closer to the table. I was so distracted from Boog’s scolding and my own witty comeback, I sat down from higher up than I intended and my butt made a loud slapping sound on the wood. I blushed again, too embarrassed to look at anyone. There was already at least one guy at the table who’d noticed my big back yard, but now the whole family was aware of the fact that my butt-cheek to chair-seat ratio was a little butt-heavy.

  “Welcome to the ranch of Clan MacKenzie,” said the big man at the head of the table, sitting just to my left.

  I jerked my head in his direction, glad for the distraction. “You’re the patriarch, I take it.” I held out my hand. “My name’s Andie. Andie Marks.” His grip was firm and warm.

  I snuck a glance in Mack’s direction in time to see his jaw bouncing out a couple times as he clenched his teeth together, but then he put a rib up to his mouth and covered the lower half of his face, making it impossible for me to tell what he was feeling.

  “I’m Angus,” said Mack’s father. “My boys are Gavin - he goes by Mack - and Ian. My wife over there is Maeve, and this is Mr. Atticus Boegman, but everyone just calls him Boog.”

  I nodded at everyone. “Nice to meet you all.” For the second time, some of you. Mack was doing a great job of acting like he couldn’t give a flying fudge about me being at the table sitting directly across from him, with his casual nod and sudden interest in the arrangement of his peas on his plate. I watched distractedly as he pushed them around in different formations.

  Angus handed me a big heavy bowl of mashed potatoes with little green and black flecks in them. “So, Andie Marks, tell us what brings you to Baker City. I take it you’re not from around here.” He smiled, and for the life of me, I couldn’t detect a trace of mockery there in his expression, despite the fact that Boog had done a fine job of setting me up as the out-of-town big city girl goofball. Or maybe it was me who’d done that. It didn’t matter either way; I was out of my element and definitely a foreigner. The quicker I could get out of here, the better it would be for everyone.

  Angus’s question sent me into panic mode. I scooped out potatoes and plopped them onto my plate with as much concentration as I could muster, trying to appear as if I couldn’t serve and talk at the same time. I had to stall and come up with a plan. Why am I here in Baker City? This was nothing like the courtroom. There I always told the truth, but here in front of this judge and jury I had to decide whether to keep up the family tree charade or just come out with the whole sordid tale. Las Vegas or bust.

  I cast a glance at Mack and caught him shaking his head slightly, possibly warning me off. It made me feel sick with embarrassment and shame. I felt like I’d been a bad person or something, falling for him in Vegas, but what was even worse was how that idea made me so sad. None of this was making any sense, from start to finish. Even sitting here at this table was nuts. I should already be headed back to the airport with signed papers in my hand.

  Angus was waiting for a response, so I opened my mouth and let some words fall out. “Well, you’re right, I’m not from here. I’m from Florida.”

  “Florida!” he exclaimed. “Well, I’ll be. You’re a long way from home now, aren’t you?” He picked up a rib and bit into it, his eyes sparkling with happiness or mirth, it was hard to tell which.

  I was glad to see he was much neater at eating ribs than Boog. I couldn’t help but smile back at him. He was so nice, despite being almost as big as a grizzly bear and nearly as intimidating. “Yes, Baker City’s a long way from home in more than one way.”

  Everyone laughed politely except Mack. He just chewed his food very methodically and stared at the saltshaker between us. He was so handsome it made my heart ache.

  “How long have you been in town?” asked Maeve.

  “Just today. I arrived around lunch.” I put some peas on my plate, the smallest portion I could manage and still officially be eating them. Peas and I are not generally on speaking terms.

  “And what have you seen so far?” She handed me a basket of dinner rolls, bypassing Boog entirely. He took it all in stride, not even missing a beat of his rib-mangling.

  “Well, let’s see … I’ve seen my hotel, the diner in the center of town, aaaand the road out here with its rattlesnakes and spiders.”

  “You’ve hardly seen anything yet,” she exclaimed. “Please don’t judge Baker by just those little bits. This town is one of the most beautiful places on earth.”

  Ian snorted in disgust.

  “Ignore him,” said Angus. “He’s not a fan of ranch work or Baker these days.”

  “Damn straight,” mumbled Ian, jabbing his fork into a pile of peas. They rolled everywhere, like they were purposely trying to escape being speared.

  “Don’t get him all riled up, Angus, please.” Maeve sighed heavily. “Just ignore them, Andie. Tempers are high tonight because we have a lot of extra work right now. Everyone’ll be all smiles and laughter in another couple days once all the calves are taken care of and we have our annual picnic.”

  “I’m sorry I’ll miss that,” I said, taking a bite of the most delicious mashed potatoes I’ve ever eaten in my entire life. I scooped up another forkful and indulged in more of the starchy goodness, ignoring the call of my pre-wedding diet.

  “How long do you intend to stay?” asked Angus, resting his forearm on the table next to his plate. “We’d love to have you here for the picnic. We’ll have people from all over the area attending, lots of family and friends. It’s quite an event.” He pointed his fork at Mack. “You’ll get to watch my boys on the broncs. That’s something you don’t want to miss.”

  I swallowed and took a sip of water before responding, because the image of Mack in full cowboy regalia being thrown around on the back of a horse was surprisingly sexy. “I’m only here for a day or two, then I’ll be heading back home.” I picked up my knife and fork, preparing to attack a rib. “But thanks for inviting me.” I looked up at Mack, my heart skipping a beat when I realized he’d been staring at me. He looked away before I did.

  “I thought you were going to Utah after this,” said Ian, his tone accusatory.

  “Ian,” said Maeve, her tone friendly but sharp, “get that bee out of your buns r
ight this instant before you curdle my milk and upset the hens.”

  “I’m just asking. She’s the one who said she was going there.” He scowled at me and then his plate. He looked much younger than his actual age which I guessed to be around twenty-six or so.

  I shrugged. “Maybe I’ll go to Utah, maybe not. I haven’t decided yet.”

  Angus’s gaze dropped to my plate and a confused expression appeared. I froze in mid-rib-spearing, suddenly self-conscious.

  Boog caught Angus’s expression and followed his gaze to my knife and fork. “What are you doing?” he asked.

  I looked at him like he was slow, raising my knife up a little. “Cutting the meat off the bone?”

  He smirked, grabbing a rib from his plate with his fingers and biting into it like a caveman. “Foreigners,” he said, his mouth already full.

  Mack blinked a couple times and may have smiled just the slightest bit, but then his face became a mask again and I was back to knowing nothing about what was going on in his head. It was beyond frustrating.

  I probably shouldn’t have cared; his signature was the only thing that should have been taking up headspace in my life. But right now I wanted to know what he was thinking more than anything else in the world.

  I blinked a few times, attempting to focus my thoughts on why I was here and visions of my upcoming nuptials. But trying to conjure images of Bradley was not working to get Mack out of my brain. All it did was make me compare the two and that was really stupid, really dangerous ground to be walking.

  “Leave her alone,” chided Maeve. “Not everyone eats with their fingers.” She picked up her knife and fork and proceeded to cut meat from her ribs too. It was awkward for her, I could tell. It made me want to hug her the way she was trying so hard to make me feel welcome. Then I felt guilty, not being truthful with her or Angus. They hadn’t done anything wrong; they didn’t deserve my lies.

  “So, I understand we’re related somehow, is that right?” asked Angus.

  Mack cleared his throat loudly and picked up his glass, preparing to take a drink of his water. “Dad, why don’t you just let her eat?” he said, not sparing me a glance.

  “I’m just curious.” Angus waved his fork around absently. “Ian mentioned she’s doing some genealogy research. Came here looking for you, in fact.” He turned to me. “Why Mack, specifically? Why do you think his name came up in your research and mine didn’t?”

  My mouth opened but the words wouldn’t come out. “Uhhhh … I don’t know?” The guilt was weighing heavily on me. I was lying to these nice people, and it was making me lose my appetite.

  “There she goes again,” said Boog. “Asking a question instead of telling the answer.” He wiped his mouth and beard off with his napkin in big swiping motions.

  I motioned to a couple spots where he’d missed chunks of food, grimacing at the sight of it.

  “What? Did I miss something? Get it for me, would ya?” He moved in close to me with a devilish grin that moved his facial hair-bush up, revealing a row of bright white teeth.

  I leaned way back and gave him a disgusted look, unable to find the right words to respond with.

  “Boog, leave her alone,” said Maeve, trying not to laugh but failing miserably. “You’ll have to excuse our friend. He delights in teasing the ladies. That’s why he’s so popular in town.”

  I nodded sagely, sitting back up normally again. “Oh, yeah. The old dig-food-schrapnel-out-of-my-beard move. Sexy. I’ll bet he’s got the chicks lining up out the door.”

  Angus let out a really loud whoop and then laughed so hard, he started choking on something. Mack had to jump up and whack him on the back several times to get him breathing correctly and able to talk again. I sat demurely in my seat, working very hard at not gloating over getting one over on the man-bear-pig.

  By the time Mack took his seat, the table had finally calmed down, and I enjoyed a small sense of triumph over bringing Boog, the butthead who’d left me in the dust with the rattlesnakes, down a peg or two.

  “They are lining up,” said Boog, pouting, not ready to let it go.

  The whole table erupted in laughter again, even Mack and Ian joining in. My heart skipped at beat at Mack’s expression. I remembered seeing one just like it in Las Vegas. He’d been happy then with me. And I must have been happy with him too, otherwise there’s no way in hell I would have married him. Even drunk, I must have been able to sense right from wrong. The big mystery wasn’t so much why I married him anymore, but why I didn’t remember something so momentous the very next day and why he had just disappeared after becoming legally bound to me. Did he forget too?

  I stole a glance at him as he spoke with his father about something, I hadn’t heard what, too lost in the memories to pay attention. He’d given me every reason to believe he did remember what we’d done, and he seemed even more unhappy about it than I was. Maybe it had to do with the girl in the picture. I made it a plan there and then to find out as soon as possible. I’d probably have stay a day longer than I’d originally planned, but it would be worth it to get this over with. This family was like a drug I could easily get addicted to.

  “What do you think, Andie?” asked Angus with a twinkle in his eye.

  “About?”

  “About Boog doing that online dating stuff. Think he’d catch him a fish or two?”

  I opened my eyes wide and moved them around vacantly, trying to picture what the ad would say. “I suppose there are women out here who wouldn’t mind dating …,” I looked sideways at Boog, “…a guy like him.”

  “D’ya hear that, Boog?” asked Ian. “She says there’re girls out here who’d date Bigfoot.”

  “Aw, come on now,” said Boog, dropping a bone on his plate. “You know I have a lot to offer the right woman. I’m just picky.”

  I snorted and then hid my mouth behind a forkful of peas as the conversation carried on without me.

  I felt light-headed and happy to be a part of the friendly, raucous meal until dessert, when I caught Mack’s eye again. And then the reason I was sitting at the table across from him came crashing back into my reality and erased the smile off my face. Instead of feeling light-headed now I was nauseous. He was, simply put, the most attractive man I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Part of it was his looks, obviously, but the other part was his family. Angus and Maeve were incredibly kind and welcoming, the type of people I’ve never known personally. Maybe it was a country thing to be so damn nice, but I’d always just assumed people like this lived only in the movies.

  Bradley’s family were cold fish in comparison. They smiled but the warmth never made it to their eyes. I’d perfected the same smile myself, and that thought scared me more than anything else. Was Ruby right? Was Bradley a bad influence on me?

  I shook my head, getting it out of the clouds. I had to harden myself to their charms and not get comfortable here in their little love nest. Mack himself was chock-full of flaws, and a pretty face meant nothing when you added it all up. He’s obviously an asshole deep down. He had to be. I mean, what kind of guy gets a girl so drunk she marries him, and then abandons her in a hotel room in Vegas? Not the kind of guy I want to be married to, that’s for sure.

  Bradley was way better than Mack for marriage material. He was driven at work, upwardly mobile, competitive, and a socializing machine. Sometimes his schedule was even too full for me, but that was the price I had to pay to be with someone focused on moving up in the world and making a name for himself. Bradley was perfect for me in almost every way. No … every way. He’s perfect for me in every single stinking way.

  I ignored the self-doubt that kept banging on the door of my thoughts, insisting it be let in so it could have its say. I moved back my chair so I could step out of the room to go call him. I’d hear his voice, tell him my plan to stay another day, and everything would be fine. I’d be back on track and focused on my goals.

  Maeve put a big, thick apple pie down on the table, interrupting my inner dialogue
and my exit. “You can have your pie with or without vanilla ice cream. I recommend with … I churned it myself this afternoon.”

  I scowled at the dessert. Damn you, apple pie. Apple pie à la mode is my favorite dessert of all time. I’d been planning on making the call and going back to my hotel until she’d set it down and started all that crazy talk about home made ice cream. Who makes home made ice cream anymore? This could be my last chance to ever have it.

  Maeve frowned. “You don’t like apple pie?”

  My eyes bugged out, embarrassed I’d been caught staring daggers at her dessert. “No! I mean, yes! I love apple pie. Sorry … I was just thinking about how I don’t have time for a piece and have to go back to my hotel.”

  She beamed. “Of course you have time. It’ll only take me a minute to scoop you out a piece.”

  “She said she doesn’t have time, Ma.” Mack looked only at his mother, not me. It made me want to kick him under the table for some reason. I had to tense my leg muscles to keep my foot from striking out at him.

  She frowned at her son. “Don’t be rude, Mack. She’s our guest. If she wants a piece of pie I’m going to make sure she gets it.” Turning to me, she flipped her frown upside down. “And besides, you’re welcome to stay here tonight.” She paused to look at her husband, “Isn’t she Angus, sweetie?”

  “Well, of course she is. We have plenty of room here for family.” He nodded once, as if it was a done deal.

  My face flushed with the idea of sleeping under the same roof as Mack. I’d done that once before and look where it had gotten me. “No, I couldn’t do that, but thank you so much for the offer. I have a … phone meeting later. I have to get back to my hotel for it.” Hopefully they wouldn’t ask me what time the meeting was since I had zero clue what time it was now.

  “We have phones here,” said Angus. He’d put his fork down and was staring at me, some of his good humor gone.